A Very Cleveland Sports June

I’ll be totally honest with you: I haven’t written in weeks because I’ve been busy, and nothing in the sports world caught my attention. I was off Twitter & Facebook for the month of June and I was having too many beers and hot dogs to care about sports. Don’t be offended. I’m back. Since nothing still has caught my eye I’ll give a recap on what I thought of June's Cleveland Sports shenanigans through the eyes of twitterless observer. Obviously the two biggest non-sports stories in June were Paula Deen and the Supreme Court’s Ruling on the Voting Rights Act, but since y’all don’t care about my politics, I’ll move on to sports. There have only been a handful of things to talk about, so let’s dive in.

Aaron Hernandez

What a douchenozzle. Look, I’ve been pretty angry with some people in life, which is why James (@j_cynic) calls me #AngryDamien, but I’m pretty sure I’ve never wanted to kill anyone. If I were going to kill someone, I’d contact OJ and Ray Lewis and get advice from them on killing someone and getting away with it. I’d guess their first piece of advice would be to, I dunno, have someone else do it? Yeah, you could get just as much time in prison for conspiracy, but at least you aren’t a murderer.

And dude, you’re on camera with a gun you own, then you claim you have no idea where it is, but they found a clip for the gun? I don’t predict this ends well for you, and you know what, you deserve everything you have coming to you.

The best thing that happened to you was passing on UConn for Florida, even though most players under Meyer at Florida were thugs, and the worst was signing for the Patriots. Tim Tebow thanks you for opening the door for him. Either way, you give credence to my post earlier this year that athletes shouldn’t be role models for children.

Kraft and Belichick were smart to cut you the day you were arrested. Yeah, they could have saved millions by waiting until camp started, but the bottom line is they don’t want your kind of garbage associated with their team, and even if fans don’t like Kraft and Belichick, they did what many college coaches wont do: distance themselves from idiots who are ungrateful for what they have and commit crimes.

Nothing like throwing away millions of dollars in income and a fiancé because some semi-pro football player pissed in your Cornflakes.

p.s. – good luck on those other two murders you thought wouldn’t come up either.

Cleveland Indians

The Indians are playing quite well. They played terribly for a stretch in June, but teams go through slumps all season. There’s a lot to like about this team. I personally don’t think they’ll make the playoffs this year, but for your sake I hope they do. Let me go on record by saying that securing one of two wild-card slots and being bounced in a one-game playoff doesn’t count as making the playoffs, although Indians front office personnel and many amateur writers will say it does.

It doesn’t. Nice try.

Also, last week the dudes over at Waiting for Next Year wrote up a whole big thing about the Indians ticket pricing structure and how this was and wasn’t fair. I dunno, I had to read it 10 times to figure out. Here’s the bottom line: if the weekend games are too expensive for you, then go during the week.

Your kids are out of school, so take the plunge and go on a Tuesday night. If the only time you can afford to go is on $1 dog night, how about you eat before you go to the game and go on a different night? If everyone who bitched about the price of tickets went to to ONE game during the season, attendance would likely increase by an average of 3-4,000 each night. That doesn’t sound like much, but it’s better than having a team in first place and only having 12,000 show up.

For the record, I’ve probably been to 10 games this year. I like baseball, so I go…even if it requires me to suffer through Brohio (worst promotion ever) and $1 dogs (second worse promotion ever) with Hayden.

Cleveland Cavaliers

I don’t watch the NBA. The product is generally terrible, and I’m not a fan of the draft system they use. It’s unneeded drama in so many ways. All that said, I have no idea who Anthony Bennett is, but I can tell you he isn’t worthy of a #1 overall pick. How do I know he isn’t worthy? Because I’ve never heard of him. You can continue to give Gilbert and Grant a pass (like Aaron did Tuesday), but the work those two have done with the team has been shittastic since they took over.

Oh, and stop blaming the departure of LeBron James.

If the Cavaliers don’t make the playoffs this season, then Dan Gilbert is the new Larry Dolan. Argue with me. I’ll wait.

Cleveland Browns

Can we call Chudzinski, Chudzinski? Jesus Christ. How old is this dude, and people are calling him Chud? H

How many people at the Plain Dealer, WTAM, WKNR, WKRK, etc are blowing the people in Berea to where they can’t act like reporters? If someone on MSNBC referred to President Obama with some stupid nickname y’all would be hanging them by his testicles. His name is Rob Chudzinski.

Use it.

I don’t know what’s going on with Jimmy Haslam, but when your company makes about $40 billion a year and you have $4 billion in debt, you don’t have a cash flow problem. Companies have debt, you have debt, and I have debt. If I make $120,000 per year and have $10,000 in debt, you certainly wouldn’t tell me the sky is falling, so why are you doing the same for Haslam?

Things aren’t well for him, and he’ll probably end up selling the team. I hope he doesn’t because I think he’s a decent dude, and not because he’s from Tennessee (#RockyTop), but because he’s better than the alternative. What’s the alternative? No one knows, and we all know the devil you don’t know is worse than the devil you do know.

If Haslam has to sell, will it go back to Lerner? Anyone know, because I don’t.

As far as Haslam’s background check, he had already been vetted by the NFL when he owned part of the Steelers, and I’m guessing this FBI thing started well after that. No offense to anyone in the NFL, but the FBI generally doesn’t care about you, so they probably aren’t willing to share the details of an active investigation. His potential crimes with his family’s business are a much bigger deal than the Cleveland Browns.

Did I miss anything? Of course I did, so I’ll try and pump out more words for you later this week on the other stuff I missed. Let me know what you think of what I wrote here.

Email me at Damien@morethanafan.net and follow me on Twitter @DamienBowman