I am Divorcing the Cleveland Browns

Over the next few days and weeks a myriad of my colleagues here at More Than a Fan will be making predictions about what the Cleveland Browns will do, how they’ll finish and project who they might play in the post-season. I won’t be doing a prediction for this season. I’m done with the Browns. I’ve done this before with Josh Cribbs, and before that ESPN, but yeah, I am divorcing the Cleveland Browns. Why? For one simple reason: They SUCK.

The “new” Cleveland Browns have been around since 1999, and haven’t done a thing. They’ve made one token playoff appearance, have had countless “regime” changes (btw, that’s a terrible name; these people aren’t dictators), and have had zero direction. Last year, Jimmy Haslam bought the team from Randy Lerner, and next year the team may have a different owner. You can call that direction if you want, but the only direction the team is going is down the toilet.

Last year, Browns fans wanted to lynch Brandon Weeden, now, in July, they love the dude. In November, you’ll be calling for a new quarterback.

The team and the local media have the fan base sucking from both the orange and brown teat at the same time. While you were sucking on those teats, have you paid any attention to the team since 1999? Obviously not, hope the sour milk is good.

Everyone gets up in arms when the national media says the Browns are the 30th, 31st, or 32nd worst team in the league. Well, they are. Until they can consistently put together a few seasons in row of being DECENT they deserve to be last in the rankings. Drafting a bunch of players, changing the coaching staff and giving a half-hearted vote of confidence in the teams quarterback isn’t incentive enough for the national media to rate the team any higher.

Who can change this perception? Of course the team can. Will they? Probably not in 2013. I don’t know what their record will be, but it won’t be awesome. I’m not the only one at MTAF that thinks so, super fan Hayden Grove (@H_Grove) even thinks 2013 won’t be the year.

So, we’re already looking forward to 2014? Wonderful.

Who is to blame? All of us. The fans, the current and former. The ones who waste thousands of dollars trekking to super shittastic Cleveland Browns FirstEnergy Factory of Sadness Stadium to watch the team poop themselves weekly. If the Indians or Cavaliers had been as bad as the Browns have been since 1999, you would be out with pitchforks. The “other two Cleveland teams” have been better and more respectable, but the only thing the Browns fans and the media care about is a team that can’t even get out of its own way to be good at anything other than taking your money yearly.

I’m guessing at some point I’ll return to the Browns, but it won’t be in 2013, and ya know what, 2014 isn’t looking too good for me either. The team needs to be a consistent winner.

As Colin Cowherd (@ESPN_Colin) would say, “smart fans don’t watch terrible teams.” OK, I’m not sure that’s exactly what he said, but you get the point. At what point is it OK to walk away from the Browns like you did the Indians? The Indians have been competitive for at least the first half of each of the past 3 seasons, and fans can’t go to games. The Browns haven’t won an opening game in what feels like 10 years, and yet you’re all there year after year to witness an opening day loss.


Sure, you all have the same excuses, “there are only eight home games,” or “well Cleveland is a Browns town,” and the best is, “we’re the best fans in the world.” Stop it. You aren’t the best fans in the world; you’re idiots. You are paying your hard earned, blue-collar dollars on a shitty product.

Of course you can spend your money however you want, and I can call you idiots.

Why was the team so bad under Lerner, because he knew no matter what the product on the field was nearly 75,000 people would show up weekly. If I were Lerner, I’d be just like him if I knew the sheep would show up like y’all do.

Have a little respect for yourselves, and demand the team get better now, or be prepared to walk away.

If not, continue to wait for another year. I’m sure next year is the year the Cleveland Clowns get to the playoffs.

Cleveland Browns.

That’s the last time I’ll say the name until the team returns to respectability. In the meantime, they’re an embarrassment to the city.